It’s come to this, as I knew it would.
I’m not sure this is what this blog is for, really. But it is relative to the topic, so there we are.
I’m going to the doctor in the morning.
I’m going to be put on anti-depressants.
I don’t like that.
I don’t like that At All.
I want to get better. I have to or I’ll…
I’ll what? Do “something silly”? I don’t think so, but when I’m having a bad “episode”, for want of a better word, late at night then I often think I’d do anything to stop feeling. My God, get a grip Horner-Glister!
Was doing this for my solo performance a bad idea? Addressing my issues publicly for all to see and calling it therapy sounds great and “arty” and with any luck should get me a good grade, but do I really want to do it? I’m not sure.
I’m just feeling a bit low. Well, very low, and scared for tomorrow’s appointment. It’s stupid really and I know it, and that makes me feel worse! Vicious cycle.
I’m terrified of the side effects and I know I’m being irrational and stupid but that knowledge really doesn’t help.
I think I just need sleep and to remember that this will be worth it. My solo performance will help me. I want it to be the end of feeling extremes of mood like this!
Many apologies. I’ll be back and posting again soon.
I think you should check out Tim Minchin on youtube, here is a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-OrfALplXA
I kind of like the idea depending on how you do it, which I’m sure you’re already aware of. It’s hard to depict something so personal especially when you have to worry about what the reaction will be.
I hope the video might cheer you up and inspire you as well – I’ve been threatened with anti depressants before, it is not great! Maybe your piece could be making the audience feel how you do rather than just speaking; do you get me? Something a bit surreal…
All the best with it though, looking forward to reading more
Hi Martyn,
I don’t think this is a bad thing at all and doing it as a solo piece isn’t bad neither. I think though that you need to make sure you feel completely comfortable, if that’s the best word, to do this in front of audience. What if you tried it out on a small audience in the next couple of weeks? See if this helps you with your concerns.
I like your idea about having a small audience and having items related to you on the stage. I think this is nice and a lovely image balancing what it is you will be talking about.
I hope everything went okay with the doctor. I also help you start to pick up soon.
Best wishes
Hannah