Tag: personal

Examples of Tweets I recieved

Martyn Horner-Glister / / General, Personal, The Performance

These pictures demonstrate the kind of input Twitter ended up having during my performance.

20120518-181209.jpg

20120518-181218.jpg

Unfortunately, due to the gratifyingly large volume of Tweets that I received,  I am unable to show all of the mentions throughout the performance because Twitter cannot load them all! As you can see, I’ve had to resort to using a screen shot from my phone to even show these!

Twitter was an massive help during the performance, but I would like to have used a Live Feed and streamed my performance online so that people far away would have been able to see it. Unfortunately, I was led to believe that this was not possible until the Monday before my performance, by which point it was too late to organise from a technical point of view due to equipment availability. However, should I decide to do something of this nature again, I would certainly look into using that source of technology to add a different slant to the interactivity of my piece.

Show Time…

Martyn Horner-Glister / / Depression, General, Personal, The Performance

Right…. Big day today.
My Solo Performance; #Catharsis is on tonight (16/5/12) in the University of Lincoln’s LPAC studio 3 from 5.30 until 6.30 (GMT) and I have a request to make of all my lovely followers…

Catharsis is the inside of my head as I address issues and events from my life that have led to my depression. This show will help me in beating my demons.

If you can’t be there, but have ever known or loved me, or even shown the slightest interest in my well being, it is of VITAL importance to me as a fellow human being, to my show, and to my overall grade that you tweet at me (@mhornerglister) using the hashtag #Catharsis between 5.30 and 6.30 tonight. I shall be tweeting to let you know what I’m talking about as the show progresses. You can ask me anything, tell me your opinion of me, offer love and support, or just say what’s on your mind, and it will be a part of the show. This way even if you can’t get to see the show you can still be a part of it, help me get a good grade, I’ll be you BFF (or whatever young people say these days) and most importantly, you’ll be a big part in helping me overcome my depression.

I don’t ask anything of my followers. But today I do. It’s only one hour of your entire life to help change the course of mine for the better. Please be a part of this unique show.

Thank you.
Much love,

Martyn

PS. Please reblog and retweet this post for me today. Thank you!

The performance.

Martyn Horner-Glister / / General, Personal, Thoughts

To clarify, this is the final plan for my performance.

I will be performing in Studio 3 on Wednesday 16th May 2012 at 17.30 for one hour.

Studio three will, in effect be the inside of my mind. Therefore I will be alone in the studio, as if alone in my own head while I deal with all the things in there. Props will act as prompts for me to talk about issues, litter and odd socks, etc. I will talk through various issues and problems I  have while tidying the space up. On one wall of the studio I also will have my Twitter feed projected.

Due to there being nobody in the space but myself, the audience will be outside the performance space, but before they take a seat they must face a choice.

The choice will be where they wish to observe the performance. There will be two options. The first will be in the upper viewing gallery above studio 3 where they can watch the performance live. There will also be another audience in another space not too far from the studio watching the performance through a live television link.

This splits the audience into a passive group and an interactive group.

The interactive group will watch through the television, but next to this there will be a PC with the Twitter site log in page open. This group can communicate with me during my performance, asking questions and offering support via Twitter through the pc, or via their smartphones to which I will respond as I see fit. In this way the audience help to shape the performance.

Naturally, the passive group will watch live through the studio window and listen in through the use of a laptop, but that is all they can do.

The contemporary nature of this interaction makes for a fluid performance, although makes me very nervous. It’s an element of risk as I don’t know what anyone will say or how I will respond. However, it also allows people who are not even in Lincoln to help shape the performance too. I will publicise my performance using Twitter and Facebook, so that if people are unable to attend, they will have the chance to be a part of it and offer me support.

It’s all coming together! In a terrifying sort of way…

These photo’s are of me testing the tech out. It works!

Martyn

Something I posted on my Tumblr blog the other day…

Martyn Horner-Glister / / Depression, Personal, Thoughts

As you may or may not be aware, I’ve really been suffering badly with my depression over the last couple of weeks, hence not posting anything here. I felt the need to explain myself a little, so I wrote the following and posted it on my Tumblr blog (which you can find here).

I’m not entirely sure this is relevant again, but the whole of my Solo Performance is going to be about me dealing with my issues and problems. So I guess this is a little taster.

I am beginning to feel a bit better, today. So I don’t want you to worry.

Anyhow, here’s my post about how I’m feeling…

 

I ain’t dead…

But every morning I wish I was.

I’ll be honest; I’ve been knocked on my arse recently, and I’m struggling to stand up again. This isn’t just wangsty crap either. It’s clinical, I’m in therapy and I’m on medication for it now.

At the risk of being called a woman, my emotions are everywhere, but I put on a mask when I see people because I can’t be seen like this. It’s. too. hard.

I’m not selfish, I just want to escape. I’m so very lonely, but it’s not always a case of needing company. My friends have been wonderful and good and kind but I worry I’m pissing them all off. I could be in the most crowded of places with everyone I know and still I’m alone. I’m alone in my head and in my soul and it feels like nothing I’ve ever known in my almost 30 years of meaningless existence. I want to get out of my head. I want to stop feeling.

In the last twelve months I have known misery, sorrow, the sweetest ecstasy, delight, pure deep love, fear, uncertainty, self loathing, loss and now the deepest pit of despair.

I have done zero work for two weeks. I just can’t face it because I can’t think straight, so how the hell am I supposed to write anything coherent, never mind a dissertation?

I’m sorry if this upsets or offends people but I have to let it out somehow. I don’t want sympathy or pity. Just don’t be offended if you call, text, email or whatever and I don’t reply. It’s just that sometimes I just have no words.

But sometimes I’ll need you. My friends. Those of you who have struggled to read this far without scoffing or navigating away from this page without a thought other than thinking what an idiot I am. You are the people who are, and have been there for me.

Thank you.

You don’t need to keep telling me you’re here for me, though. In a weird way that kind of makes me want to curl up and shut you out. I don’t know why. Just look me in the eye, squeeze my hand or arm and I’ll know if you’re who I want to talk to at any time. I’ll talk if I’m ready to, but just be warned that when it comes out I can go on for a long time, so boil the kettle.

Don’t worry, or feel guilty. I’ll be all right, but it’ll just take time.